Here she is!

More pics as time and energy permit...

It's A Girl!

Stella Katharine, born 10/29/05 at 1:51 am. 7 lbs, 6 oz; 19.5 inches tall.

Pictures whenever I have time to put some up. Back to the hospital!

BTW...

It's not a sure thing, but it looks like the world's population may increase by one sometime tonight. That's if my wife's Ob/Gyn is to be believed...

Got this hilarious e-mail

Sure, it's some hand-me-down chain-mail, but that doesn't change the fact that, had I been drinking a soda while reading it, my computer screen would now be soaked...

I never quite figured out why the sexual urges of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing.

I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well,
the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every husband on the planet dreads to hear..."You're not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We
went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, upscale department store.

I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all.

She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, "Let's get a pair for each outfit."

We went on to the jewelry department, where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you . she was so excited! She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck! I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual
satisfaction from all of the excitement!

Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey. I don't feel like it."Her face went completely blank, as her jaw dropped with a baffled, "WHAT?" I then said,
"Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're not in touch with
my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."

And just when she got this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

...Apparently I'm not having sex tonight, either.

How can you not be a Joey Harrington fan?

I've been suffering through 3 years as a Detroit Lions fan, solely because of Joey Harrington's run with that team. When I play my ESPN 2K5 football game, I'm the Lions. I've made a lot of roster moves, but Harrington is still at the helm.

Sure, the guy's had a ton of trouble in his pro carreer. The fan in me wants to raise all the issues around him. The lack of an O line that can protect him. The inability of his #1 receiver, Charles Rogers, to stay on the field for a season. The deterioration of the many weapons he's been given (whether it be the injured FB, the injured WR's, or the injured RB). I mean, really, what is the guy supposed to do?

But then Jeff Garcia comes in and wins his first game starting in Joey's place, and it is clear that some of the issues Joey's facing are his. He's not mobile. He doesn't fit into his team's offense. He doesn't throw the long ball.

So, as a Joey fan who's also a realist, I have to acknowledge what John Canzano recently pointed out on his blog: you can be a fan while still accepting the limitations of your sports heroes.

Kind of what we've had to do with this year's Blazers, I guess. Definitely not a play-off team this year, probably not next year either, but at least they're finally a team I can respect, and so they're my team once again.

All of this simply to point you to this article displaying what a true class act Joey is. If you're not a fan, you should be. This is the kind of athlete we should get behind.

Blazers re-cap

Thanks to the enormous generosity of the Paul Allen Memorial Money-Pit ... er... the Trail Blazers, I once again was able to go invest my time, energy, and emotional strength in rooting through yet another losing cause at the Rose Garden.

Which is not to say I didn't enjoy myself. For starters, I firmly committed to ingesting more beer at this outing, and so, thankfully, I stopped noticing the bad stuff as time went on. Secondly, there were sparks of hope as the game wore on; just not enough to equate to a victory.

So, without further ado, my notes from tonight's Blazers defeat...

First Quarter

• Starting line-up: Joel Pryzbilla, Darius at the PF, Ruben at the SF, Charles Smith at the SG, and Telfair at the PG. Interesting. Heard later on the radio that Zach was late for the game or something, which explains him being held out for most of the first quarter.
• Unlike the last game I went to, the Blazers Dancers were back. Man, I love the Blazers dancers. This was a nice start to the evening.
• My God...there are a ton of points available on the inside. Why do the Blazers keep neglecting the inside in favor of lower percentage outside shots?
• Along those lines, the Blazers shot selection is hideous. Too much settling for outside shots, when our only legit shooters (Monia and Webster) are bench-warming all night.
• Just for kicks, I kept track of points scored in the first quarter. Of 20 points scored by the Blazers, the first 7 were either points in the paint or free throws. The next 2 were from out of the paint, followed by a combination of 8 from the inside to 2 more from outside. For the math-impaird, thats 15-4. There's a missing point there; I think it might go to the outside (15-5). Alot of wasted shots as the Blazers tried to pretend they were shooters.
• Passing was the name of the game. When the Blazers made the extra pass into the middle, there were a lot of opportunities. Unfortunately, there was plenty of selfishness displayed. For instance, don't let Darius' stats fool you. He threw away a lot of opportunities trying to get points from the outside, and most of his points were on junk plays where he was in the right place at the right time.
• Speaking of Darius, two observations: it appeared to me, until the clarity of drunkenness took over, that he was running around with one sock up and one down. I was duly unimmpressed. Second, Darius has what it takes to be the next Scottie Pippen. Length, speed, moves. Just not the focus. If he can't get the focus consistently this year, he's officially my next pick for the JR Rider memorial wasted youth cup.
• Good point: our D is tenacious (on the interior; our perimeter D is still nigh-non-existent). We're great guarding on the inside and are able to break up alot of plays.
• Joel Pryz is awesome. Dude's a monster in the middle.
• Explain the 20 second time-out rule to me. Blazers call a 20 second TO, and the game stops for 2 minutes? Is it just me, or is the whole "20 second" bit a slight misnomer?
• Hmm. Juan Dixon at the 2. Truly an exercise in futility.

Q1 score: Blazers 20; Toronto 18 (all down-hill from here)

Second Quarter

• Starts out w/ Theo; Z-Bo; Darius; Dixon, and Jack.
• What is it with Z-Bo? I watch him take very ill-advised shots, and yet (sometimes) they still go in. You tell me -- is this skill, or luck?
• In case I haven't said it before, I love the Blazer Dancers. Welcome back, girls.
• When Theo's in these days, he only highlights the fact that Joel is not in the game. And that's in the bad way. What happened to "The Rattler" of old?
• Free throw shooting is improved. In the first two quarters, we made 10 of 13 (official stats are 10 of 12, I counted a lane violation as a miss...)
• What's with Mark Mason (the announcer's) "one-plus-one" when someone gets a shooting foul? This isn't college. There's no such thing. I like Mason on the radio and all, but listening to him at the game can get pretty annoying.
• Zach's passing? An experiment: I counted the times he definitely should've passed and didn't and compared that to the times he passed when he definitely should've. To my surprise, he actually passed when needed (4 times) more than he didn't (twice). I'm pretty convinced that was a fluke. It'll take a long time to convince me that Zach isn't still The Black Hole.
• Inside/outside scoring evened out, sorta. Still not where it ought to be ... 17 (10 in the paint, seven boards) to 7.

Q2: Blazers 44; Toronto 52

Third Quarter

• Thank God. The beer's finally taking over.
• I'm watching this blimp flying around dropping free stuff, and I'm watching the free pizza squad giving out food, and I'm watching all these other freebies getting handed out, and it occurs to me that there's no free stuff if you're not in the 100 or 200 levels. Don't get me wrong; my seat's free. I realize that. I'm not looking a gift horse in the mouth (okay, I am, but so what? I spent $48 on 6 beers between my friend and I). Why no love for the nose-bleeds?
• I'm watching Zach, with a whole lane to drive through, settling for a shot from the top of the key. WTF? You're a POWER FORWARD. Act like it!
• When McMillan sees crap like that, why doesn't he sit it down? Why only set examples in practice, where players are less likely to care? Like it would bother me to get kicked out early and miss a few suicides...
• Why do we keep giving Juan Dixon shots? The little man is floating around the outside all night, waiting for a pass to the perimeter. Then he throws up an uncontested brick from the 3. In case you don't catch the subtle context, Dixon SUCKS.
• Finally, through my Drop Top Ale-induced dementia, I've noticed that Darius is actually wearing a leg sheath over one of his pulled-up socks. Glad I settled that one...
• With 3:53 to go, we've gone from being up in the first to being down by 19 before the half. Ugh. This is going to be a loooooong season.
• I love the Blazers Dancers.

Q3: Blazers 60; Toronto 75

At this point, I made a deal with my friend (since I couldn't, in good conscience, pay for more beer) to leave once the Blazers went down by 17. They accomodated me 18 seconds into the period, thank God. I just don't have any patience for this crap. I mean, at least have those gymnasts do that free t-shirt launch and make me feel a bit appreciated. Blazers end up losing by 22-ish, and (as far as I know) never gave into my wayward screams from Section 333, Row J to put Martell in (ed note: per one reader, Martell got in w/ about 4 minutes left, but still didn't get any shots). Sad, so sad.

On Martell: I was listening to a combination of 1080 The Fan (Portland's best sports station, in case anyone's not clear on that point) and KXL (Portland's best or second best news station, but a complete waste of time when Lars is on) this week, and heard alot of discussion about the tightening of the line-up and how Martell's going to spend some time on the outside looking in. This irks me, because although there's a desire to develop Martell before getting him on the floor, would we really be losing anything by getting him out there? I like Charles Smith's attitude, but he doesn't have the shot that Webster does. Dixon's a joke. I like Jack at the PG, but not as a SG. I'd make my rotation at the SG Martell, Smith, and Monia, and let Martell learn by doing. At least entertain your fans as your disappointing them...

This team will be something great. But not this year. Abandon hope, all ye who enter here. Our team is worthy of rooting for (finally), but just don't take it too seriously...

Promises made

Promises broken. I strongly indicated yesterday that I'd be posting on the experiences of an expectant father.

That was before I was out too late with some friends.

One of the things I've been experiencing (other than the unsightly sympathy weight gain) has been the onset of sleepiness at earlier hours. I suppose this has to do with the constant state of anticipation (did I just feel my phone vibrate? Is this the call?!? ARGH, I CAN'T FIND MY PHONE!!!) coupled with the near continuous stream of last minute little chores that need to get done prior to bringing a new person into your house (last night, it was cleaning out baby's closet; the day before it was installing some decorative shelving and setting up the baby monitor).

Anyway, sleep comes quickly, ends too soon, and in general I just feel like a slug. At work, I feel like a short-timer, not wanting to get into any projects in case my wife suddenly bursts. At home, I feel my wife's anticipation (read: fear) as the prospect of passing a person out of a place that people usually don't come out of, and all the accompanying discomfort and aftermath and all.

All this to say that I'm sleepy. Maybe I'll throw something together during my lunch break tomorrow, assuming nothing is going on...

By the way, a sneak peak at the jack-o-lantern that will be out this Halloween:

Use your illusion

An interesting exercise; link via Metafilter...



Basically, if you are sitting close to your screen, the angry face is on the left. However, if you move a couple of feet back, the angry face is on the right.

Complete expanation here.

While I'm here, quick baby update:
My wife's still pregnant. She's officially due in one week, but we're ready to drop everything at a moment's notice. In response to DAT's empassioned pleas, I plan on trying to do an expectant fatherhood post tonight. Which means, of course, that it'll be done sometime in the next six months...

Blazers recap

As I've noted before, in my former blogging life I did a fair amount of Blazer discussion. Having been a P-Town resident for at least a few years, I've had a chance to fall in love with the home team, then to be disgusted by how they were turned into a joke, and now I have hope for the future.

So, it was with pleasure that I took the Blazers up on their offer to come watch a free game (nothing special, I suspect most of us there were taking up that offer), and I looked forward to getting to see our new crew in action.

So far this pre-season, things have been up-and-down. The Blazers showed great promise (and unselfish play) in a gritty win over the Sonics last week, but then displayed another side in an abysmal performance against Denver over the weekend. On Monday, Blazers coach Nate McMillan found himself calling practice early in favor of dragging the team into the locker room for a closed-door discussion after seeing a lack of hustle and effort on the floor, which apparently reminded him of what he saw in the Denver game.

So, I was eager to see which Blazers team would show up.

Starters for Tuesday's game against the LA Clippers were Theo Ratcliff at center, Zach at PF, Darius at SF, prize rookie Martell Webster at SG, and Sebastian Telfair at the point. I imagine that this will be close to our starting line-up at season's end (Przzyzyzyzbilla will be our starting center as soon as he recovers from a nagging injury), but I was excited to see how this group would interact.

First Quarter
The game started out with a clear indication of things to come, with the Clippers getting the tip-off and reeling off 6 unanswered points before the home team could finally get on the board. The Blazers shooting in the first quarter was pretty poor, which accounts for us nearly getting doubled up by the end of the period. A few observations:

• Juan Dixon, who subbed in at the point, is tiny. It's comical, after seeing him on the floor, to consider prior management claims that he was being brought in to shore up the point, SG, and as a possible back up at SF.
• Martell is, indeed, an exciting prospect. He has a great shot, and he obviously has a nice balance of confidence in his abilities combined with a healthy respect for the team concept. But his defense is weak right now--not for lack of effort, but for lack of talent. This will develop under Nate, but it might take until next season for it to become apparent.
• Zach...well, he's still Zach. Still a selfish shooter, still not passing enough, still not choosing his selfish shots wisely. Still the Black Hole.
• This team is generally not physical, especially with Dixon at the point. Until this team learns to collapse the defense, drive the lane, crash the boards, and just generally make other teams work, were going to continue to struggle with poor shooting, poor rebounding, and losing efforts.
• What happened to the lighted stat boards that ringed the Garden? The ones that would keep you apprised of free-throw percentages, scores from around the league, and such. As I looked down into the bowl from the nose-bleeds, trying to get an idea of how low our FG percentage was, there was no help in sight. I hope this isn't permanent, because those are truly an enhancement to the game experience.

End of Q1: Blazers 19, Clips 32

Second Quarter

Not much improvement noted in this quarter, except that the Blazers defense and rebounding picked up, allowing them to hold the Clips to just 13 points in the period (although the Blazers were only able to cobble together 9) as both teams started to experiment with line-ups. This quarter saw the first pre-season play from Sergei Monya, who looked better than recent press reports would indicate. Steve Blake also stepped in, although absolutely nothing about his performance is memorable. Some thoughts:

• Sebastian's the most aggressive player on the Blazers squad, slashing the lane, driving to the hoop and drawing a ton of fouls on the way. Also, he showed great heart on defense, at one point causing a 10-second violation for the Clips and at another going to the floor fighting for a ball. I have high hopes for this kid, and think the Blazers did the right thing in bringing in some challengers so that Telfair has to stay sharp and show forth effort instead of just counting on the starting job.
• Monya has a nice touch on his shots, and surprisingly really gets after it on both ends of the floor, dispite being mismatched in size and power by most people out there.
• Darius is looking pretty good so far. I still hate that head bump thing, though. Prompted my friend to say "what does he think he is, a billy goat?" which doesn't entirely make sense to me, but which he asked me to throw in here...
• Theo's useless. Despite his previous billing as a defensive dynamo and a shot-block machine, he was another player who you had to actually try to watch to even remember he was out there.

Q2: Blazers 28, Clips 45

Third Quarter

The Blazers finally started to turn on their offense in this quarter, finally scoring 20+ points in the period (although their defense got worse and they gave up as many as they made). At this point, I was starting to get discouraged. I was out of beer money, and really didn't want to preside over this loss any longer. Some notes:

• This team, like the last few we've put on the court, settles for too many outside shots and doesn't get to the rim enough. Z-Bo continues to mistake himself for a jump-shooter, and now that he's hanging out near the perimeter, he isn't in the mix for offensive boards. And, when the team does get near the hoop, there's no will to finish.
• Along those lines, remember when Zach was a 20/10 guy? He got there crashing the boards, tenaciously seeking out loose balls, and just scrapping. That Zach died as soon as Rasheed was sent off and the job was secure. That's the Zach we need back, however.

Q3: Blazers 54, Clips 71

Fourth Quarter

Honestly, at this point I was just trying to convince my friend that it was time to leave. We went through a few rounds of negotiations before agreeing that if the Clips took a 19 point lead, we'd call it a game. Ten seconds later, the Clips obliged me and we were on our way. However, I heard on The Fifth Quarter that the Blazers lost 85-99 (or there-abouts), which makes sense given what I saw.

Final thoughts

This team is going to be something special, but it's going to take time. Martell needs to pick up defensive playing. Darius needs to remain consistent. Joel needs to get healthy. Z-Bo needs to learn the team concept and also get enough confidence in his surgically-repaired knee so that he can get after it again like the guy we used to know in that uniform. And, with our team's average age being 24 years old, we need to get rid of Theo and bring in some veteran leadership with some credentials.

But I'm happy with the team that we have. It has an exciting future, I think we might finally keep our noses clean for a whole season, and in the process it should be fun to watch some of these kids develop...

Funny picture of the day



Got this from JLowe's wife and thought it was just too funny not to share...

As promised...


My wife at 37 weeks.

Progress: Baby's dropping; 1.5 cm dilated; 50% effaced. All furniture is assembled, and the nursery's painted (except for some touch-ups I have to do this week).

Are we actually ready? No. But can you ever be?

Just for kicks, a coupla pix...


Me at baby class, with the 30 pound sympathy belly.


Getting my a$$ handed to me at a poker game.

Blah. Not interesting. Once my scanner's working, I'll get you a picture of a 37-week preggers belly. That's some good stuff...

Which OC character are you?

Despite trying to sound cool while answering, turns out I'm...

Random (stolen) thought of the day

Thanks to Paul:

"With all those crazy T-shirts out there, I wonder why none read 'C is for C-Cup. It's Good Enough for Me.'"