The 24 Lives of Jack Bauer

I'm currently watching Day 6 of 24, and it's finally getting to me. This series relies so heavily upon the willing suspension of disbelief, that at one point or another even the most willing fan has to fight through the insanity.

So many issues; where do we start?

The Inadequacy of CTU: Every episode involves CTU locking down a sector or cordoning off a grid or whatever. Every CTU lockdown is utterly ineffective. Noone has ever been caught in a CTU-secured zone.

The Interminable Legion of Dead Agents: Seriously, whenever a CTU agent's face is shown for more than a second, or (worse) whenever a CTU agent is dressed in battle gear, odds are highly in favor of them dying. It's like the Ensign who beams down with Kirk, Spock, and Bones. If you're on that away team, give up, because you're dead. If you are in CTU and you're not Jack Bauer, you might as well just give up, because you're tits up before the next commercial.

CTU Moles: CTU is one of the most techno-savvy and advanced agencies there is. So it shocks me that, in every single season, they fall prey to a mole using a cell phone in the bathroom, or else some low-browed hacker is able to completely paralyze the system.

The Continuum of Palmer Presidents: David Palmer was, by far, the best President ever to exist in all of time. That much is for sure. But, somehow, the Palmer's are like Camelot revisited. David Palmer, Wayne Palmer, and Cheri Palmer as well? At some point, you just have to call BS on this. Although one must applaud the progressive nature of the 24 Universe. Three black presidents in seven days is pretty impressive.

Jack Bauer, the Center of It All: How can one man be at the center of every disaster this country will ever face? Jack Bauer, whether leading a counter-terrorist group in LA, or serving as assistant to a cabinet secretary, or whether being confined on a container ship having his nails extracted by the Chinese, always ends up being the one person in the middle of all the action, and actually ends up being a teleological causal agent for at least half of it. When you consider the number of conspiracies aimed at Bauer or his family, it is safe to say the best move to preserve America's interests is the chemical sterilizations of all Bauers and the lynching of Jack. And how many times does Jack Bauer have to "promise" or "swear" to an expected outcome before people realize that no matter heartfelt it sounds, the mere act of being spoken to by Jack Bauer is worse than swallowing a suicide pill.

Does this all mean I'll stop watching? Negatory, good buddy. But a good cleansing breath here and there isn't a bad thing...